okay so update. i'm pretty lonely. i've been making myself go out and do things myself but it's a lonely life. i realized i have never really been alone. when i'm home, i'm always with my sisters and mom. when i'm at school i'm always with my friends and all the WGB girls. i never do anything by myself. so it's a learning experience figuring out how to be on my own. how to go and do things myself. i read a lot. i go to parks. let's see. friday i went to the park and read a lot. and then Summer invited me to Belcourt Taps and i went there and it wasn't bad, again i'm just awkward. but apparently it was awkward for Summer and Esther who I went with because they hadn't seen those friends in a while and sort of lose touch so that make it awkward. but then saturday i almost didn't go anywhere but then i decided to go to centennial park and check out the food truck festival and music. sitting there by myself listening to music was nice but also lonely. so was eating my food on the bench, reading by myself. and then today i went to a farmer's market and walked around bicentennial park and it was really nice. i mean as much as i would like to have friends and be doing stuff with them, it is kind of nice to go walk around and discover nashville by myself. not sure where i'm going to go tomorrow, it's memorial day so i'm afraid a lot of things will be closed. but i need to get more books. i finished two pretty lengthly books and i need new ones. i forgot how much i like reading. so maybe that is what this summer will be, molly being alone and reading. not a bad thing, time to get away and just think about life and get in touch with myself. it's making me think about my life after babson. i'm going to be living in a house or apartment just like this one. and i'm excited because i can have my own house and fill it with all my things and operate the house the way i want. like i mean when i do dishes and how clean i keep the house. like now even though it is my home, i still feel a bit like a guest since i'm only here for three months and these girls were here before me. but these days now are really helping me and setting me up for being successful when i am living on my own. i basically have this whole house to myself. i saw Kristian this morning and she came back at one point to get changed but i have been alone for the rest of the day. good thing i'm not scared of being in this house by myself though this mystery book i just finished could have freaked me out. but no i'm okay being here by myself. okay, i say that but last night i cried because i was lonely and because i wanted to be a better person. but it really is alright. i'm learning a lot about myself and just living life. even if these are a lonely three months i just hope i'm a better person because of it. that's all. and that i learned something. then it would be worth it.