hi so i'm thinking that tour managing for king the kid might not be the best idea. all of you reading this are probably like, duhh about time you figured that out. i really don't know them at all. while they are all really nice and all that is just what i have seen from the one time i met them from a fan's point of view. like today david posted something about getting high and 4:20 and all. and i'm like...do i really even know these kids? i can not deal if they are smoking weed all the time. not that i think they do, but still. i don't know. i said i was going to wait two weeks before i emailed them again anyways. now i might not email them again at all. the chance to be a tour manager will come up with it's the right time.

now though i have to get moving on my internship applications. ahhh!

other than that, i'm learning guitar. i think i'm doing well for only playing three days. except for the fact that my fingers hurt so much. they hurt right now typing this because of the guitar. but i push on because it is so addicting and i just want to keep playing and getting better. so hopefully by the end of this vacation i will be good enough that i won't be embarrassed to play in front of people and i will actually want to play in front of people. and i can play Say Something on the piano now too! Maeve was playing it on the guitar, Maura was on one keyboard and i was on the other and we all played it! it wasn't perfect but it was fun! and we actually made music and yayy!

umm also my dad wanted to bring his girlfriend to christmas eve. and then he tried to guilt trip us when we didn't want her to be there. and kept asking why. like ummm maybe the fact that we aren't okay with seeing our dad with another woman and it's just weird having her be there for family stuff. like why can't you just be okay with us being there? why does she have to be there too? and the excuse that she would be alone is not valid at all because mommy is home alone too. and then after we said we didn't want her there for christmas eve, he asks if it would be okay if she was there for new years eve....actually more that i think about this, no way. because first of all maeve and maura are sleeping over, so she would sleep over too and i can't even think about that. and then the whole new years kiss, i can't have him there and kiss her. no. no. no. so when he asks again, we will say that we don't want her there and if he would rather spend new years with her, that's fine, we will stay home where we would rather be anyways. the only reason why we hang out with him is because we have to. well i don't, but i can't just leave maeve and maura alone. it sucks so much. and i don't know what it sounds like when i write it all out - but what i write doesn't even really capture how horrible it feels.

gah life. it's 9:30 and i'm so exhausted. i should just get up and get ready to go to sleep.