hi. okay so adam never messaged me back on facebook so that's over with. at least i know. i could have sworn he was interested in person though. whatever. i will probably never see him again.

umm i've gone to three concerts the past three nights. bridgit mendler at six flags - where i went on scream and bizarro, which is crazy because i used to never go on any roller coasters and i just went on the biggest ones and yeah that's pretty awesome for me. proud of myself. i'm getting brave and growing up.

second one was megan and liz who are so cute and that concert had so much energy and everyone was so excited. and one girl brought these signs that said "We love you guys to pluto and back" which she handed out to the front row and they all put them up during a certain part of the song and it was so perfect and cute. i loved it. and their merch guy was also cute but i didn't talk to him, my sisters thought it would be creepy if i asked for a picture so we didn't do that.

then okay here is where it gets a bit confusing. Maeve had bought tickets for me and her to go see Alex Goot, Sam Tsui, Kurt Schnieder, and King the Kid in CT! ahhh King the Kid - love them. but anyways then after that AJR announced that they were opening for this tour in NYC, which was the weekend after the CT show. now NYC was sold out but since we have this really strange love for AJR, my mom bought outrageously priced tickets to go see AJR. have i explained who AJR is before? let me check...okay yeah you are caught up actually on the AJR front i believe. okay but we were going to sell our CT tickets because we didn't need to go to two shows, but they never sold so Maeve and I went anyways. and ahhh.

as soon as we got there we saw King the Kid and gave them hugs and got pictures. and they are so sweet and cute and i love them. omg. like i keep looking at that picture of us and i just want to scoop them up and bring them home with him. they are so perfect. but after that we waited in line and met some friends, yay! then we got in and i went to get some food and was chatting with the guy selling the food who was so cute and nice. he has a girlfriend who lives in ashfield though. but it was really nice talking to him actually. then we saw the show and we were over on the side and we were like the only ones jamming out, but that meant to Ricky kept looking at us. ahhh, my fangirl heart. and then at the end of the set he came to give me his drumstick and the lady in front of us who was sitting on the speaker for KTK's whole set jumped up and grabbed it from me. -_- but then after the show we talked to Ricky and Jose and he promised he would give me one in NYC. so yay for that. and the other acts were great too - Sam is a natural performer and he kept singing to us too and he was so cute. but it took way too long to get Alex Goot's set all ready so by the time he was on we were exhausted so we sort of took a break. and he was just sitting on his piano anyways. but he was still really good, he was just his awkward youtube shy self. yeah that was the funny part that a lot of these people are youtubers and aren't used to people interaction. but i am glad we went to this show too because we were able to talk to KTK and see them close us because the venue is small and yeah it was fun.

but i really don't want to get getting KTK feels right now because i know that i will never have a chance with them, they have like ten million girls talking to them every night and trying to get their attention. like i'll never be anyone special to them, just another fan. which sucks. honestly i would rather be friendzoned then fanzoned - at least i'm their friend then. ahh so frustrating.

i understand now when people say they need a boyfriend. i used to be like - who cares, what's the rush? but i understand now. like you just want that person you can go to and talk to about anything, who will understand you, and give you hugs, and want to see you, and yeah. i don't have anyone like that so it's hard. so i think about what it would be like if Ricky or Jose or Ryan or Adam Met was that person. and then it kills me when i realized that it basically impossible.

nothing is impossible. what i need to do is create a killer business so i become famous and they actually give me a chance. or get this published so i become famous and they read it and weep because they are like i would have had a chance with her - if only i - or probably not. but whatever.

this isn't a publicity scheme by the way, i know the odds of this actually being published are slim and that isn't why i'm writing it. it's more for me. so i can get my thoughts down on paper and i can read it years from now and be like - awww look at little Molly fangirling over Ricky. seriously though - have you seen Ricky? and Jose? and even David too. like ahhhh. my heart.

umm what else? i'm proud of myself for driving an hour and a half to the venue and back two nights in a row and not falling asleep. and i'm thankful that Maeve stayed awake with me.

i go back to school....holy crap, i just looked it up and i go back in one week and a weekend. like that is so soon. when i get back there my fangirl self will have to go into hibernation so i can get good grades and focus on school and i'll be working. and wooo.

OH the other thing i wanted to talk about is how i want to be a tour manager and go on tour. like seriously. i could be Zuri's assistant and go tour with Taylor in the spring. i'll almost be 20 by then. i go to enough shows. i am a business person so i'll organized and on top of my shit. i will be great. i will get used to the schedule. and i'll get to travel and ahh it would be great. it would also suck because it's tour but it would be an awesome experience. dude KTK might need a tour manager for their next tour. i'm all over that. as long as i'm not in school. so from may tenth until september first 2014 i'm available for tour managing. hit me up. you don't know what you're missing out on.

okay now i should probably do something productive. like either put my clothes away. go to the barn. then get ready to go to the lake house because i have to spend time with my father. then i will have to get ready for NYC which means showering and washing the hair (which is a process now that it is purple - by the way Ricky said he liked my "ombre purple hair" and i was impressed he knew what ombre was) and then packing! i have to pick out some cute outfits to impress KTK and AJR. who knows when i'll see them again, if i ever will...ahhh no, i love them too much to never see them again. me and every other fangirl who will never see them again, or only see them if they go on tour. sucks to suck. honestly though being a fan sucks sometimes - a lot of the time. at least i'm lucky with Taylor and we are a step above fans - I mean i have his number in my phone and he has mine. so we're cool. i have to remember that sometimes. but then it gives me unrealistic expectations for other fan-artist relationships i have. but me and Taylor have been working on this relationship for years. haha that sounds ridiculous. but actually though over 3 years of being a Taylor Mathews fangirl. #fanfromthestart

no i just used a hashtag on my blog. i'm done.