i almost cried watching a video from the 1996 olympics when Kerri Strug won the gold medal for the USA women's gymnastic team.

maybe i'll actually watch this years.

hi. so since i went to warped tour this year just to see We the Kings i think i should talk about We the Kings. and i'm talking about the current We the Kings made up of Travis, Danny, Coley, Hunter, and of course Charles.

i listened the We the Kings way back when they only had one album out, called We the Kings because what else would you call your first album? and they have been on my itunes since then and i listened to them whenever they came on shuffle. but my sisters were never into them, they were just another band i had on my ipod that they didn't.

and i had heard of ctfxc before my sisters as well. i just didn't watch them as often as i watched the shaytards. but when shay went down to visit Charles because of his surgery and all, my sisters and i got into watching Charles and Ali. and it just so happens Charles was the new bass player of We the Kings. so after Charles recovered he was back on tour and showing us footage from all the We the King shows. and can i just mention now that Charles and Ali are amazing. they have so much trust and love each so much. right after they got married, Charles went on tour and Ali only gets to see him when he has a few days off and can come home or when she can get out there to see him. and they have gone through Charles having a brain tumor, which must be the scariest thing for Ali. and they are amazing. i want to have a relationship like them. usually i don't really care for celebrity relationships or whatever, and i'm not sure if Charles and Ali are considered celebs, but i would care and be upset if something happened to their relationship. but i don't think it will.

anyways i was going to talk about We the Kings. so anyways that is why we wanted to go see them play live. to see Charles primarily but by now we were attached to the other members of the band because we see them on the ctfxc vlogs.

Travis is so awesome. he was at his booth so much throughout the day, before and after performing, in addition to the scheduled signing with all the band. he gave everyone hugs and kept telling everyone how much he loves them. and he wrote on Maeve's poster "Love you!" and later when he signed it again "xoxo." and he gave a shoutout to all the fans during his set, saying how all these band would be nothing without us, the fans, who come to watch them and all. he honestly is so nice. and Danny is amazing too. when he went to his signing he said to Maeve "hi, beautiful" and yeah he is awesome too. they are just such genuine people who care about the people who listen to their music. which not every performer does.

it's times like these, 11:04pm on a Thursday night, after listening to the We the Kings for probably close to an hour, and after writing that post, when i wonder if someday i will get this thing published and everyone who i mention will read it and suddenly they know my name. maybe they'll google me to see what i look like. maybe by then a picture of me will come up on google images for my name. does it now? i don't think so. let me check. why yes a picture of me and my stunning horse Dolly is the amazing forth picture that comes up. because apparently i am a discus awards winner, which is a non-monetary national recognition award. which i didn't know until now. you learn something new everyday. but what was i saying? oh yeah. how amazing it would be if Travis or Charles or Danny or Coley or Hunter were reading this right now. or anyone really. someday maybe. and if it does happen then i want to go and meet everyone that i mention in this blog and people i don't mention but still thought about as a teenager. that way i can be like hey look 18 year old Molly, you're cool now because you are friends with cool people. waaait, molly you said you want to go and meet them which usually means talking and maybe a picture and/or signature, not friends. but molly, you never know ;)

i always have a good time when i do get around to having josh come over. it's just the getting there part.

is it bad that i don't really want josh to come over? i just don't want to have to deal with another human being. i just want to do what i want to do without worrying about him. plus i'm going to have to make-out with him which i don't really feel like and i'm just so tired and all i want to do is lay around and go on my laptop which i can't do when josh is over. great. this is starting to be a normal feeling.

We all have our own life to pursue, our own kind of dream to be weaving, and we all have the power to make wishes come true, as long as we keep believing. 

– Louisa May Alcott(1832-1888)

So don't let anyone hold you back from your own dreams.

i have my schedule. and my dorm. and my roommates. i'm so pumped.
i couldn't find my roommates on facebook which was sad - well i found one girl with the same name so i sent her a message but she wasn't part of any of the babson groups, i also sent her an email but it bounced back which is weird since it is the babson email...and the other girl i couldn't find her on facebook but i sent her an email which didn't bounce back! and i'm in one of the main central dorms, my room is one of the bigger rooms! which is good since i have two roommates and other people in triples didn't get a bigger room. but Roxy is nextdoor, we get to share a bathroom. woo!
and this is my schedule:

ACC1300 06

INTRO TO FINANCIAL ACCOUNTING  Buttacavoli, Thomas

3.00

MW

1:40PM - 2:55PM

FME1000 09	REVISED FOUNDS OF MGMT & ENTREPRENEURS  Hunt, James M., Yamakawa, Yasuhiro, SPEC SCHED SEE DESC, -		3.00	TR	11:30AM - 1:05PM	Tomasso 209

FYS1300 16	FIRST YEAR SEMINAR  Cohen, Monica		1.00	W	3:25PM - 4:40PM

HSF1300 08	H&S FOUNDATION  Bruyneel, Kevin		3.00	TR	1:40PM - 2:55PM

QTM1300 02	APP CALCULUS WITH QUANT METHODS  Kaplan, Theodore		3.00	MW	9:45AM - 11:00AM

RHT1302 05	RHETORIC A w/HSF  Leonard, Melissa		3.00	TR	9:45AM - 11:00AM

I think it should be a good schedule! We will see though I guess! At least I'm done everyday by 3 except for Wednesday and I have a class everyday at 9:45 but I think that is good because it will get me up going and going but not up extremely early. And no classes on Fridays! anyways I think I am going to get off the internet now. i don't know what i will do. i'm kind of tired since i barely got any sleep last night waiting for it to be morning. and i get to sleep over the Avakians tonight...yay?

i'm so excited for college!

like crazy excited. i had the babson family day today. so i got to talk to a bunch of people really. i think i did a good job at talked to a lot of people. let me try to count...15 different people minimum. woot! i wasn't too worried about making lasting friends now, i will do that when i get my roommate and see who is in my class. it was more about making loose ties so when we get on campus, i can be like "i remember you from the family day, how are you? how was the rest of your summer?"and there you go! but honestly the girl i am most excited to meet is Roxy, who is from Turkey, who i have been talking to on facebook. we just sort of hit it off on the facebook messaging. so i'm pumped to meet her. ideal situation, i will be her roommate, but we will find that out on monday! ahh! i'm so excited to find out who i'm rooming with! and where my dorm is! i'm pretty sure i'm in a triple or a quad! and i get to register for classes on monday, but that won't be too exciting because i already have all my classes in my cart waiting to check out when i can. i picked all my teachers and my time and my schedule looks pretty nice. everyday i have a class at 9:45 and one at 1:40 and then on tuesdays and thursday i have an extra class at 11:30, then a class at 3:30 on Wednesday - which is some super special Living Social Change class that I got invited into because of all my community service! and Roxy is in that one i believe! so i'm pumped pretty much is what i am saying. all day tomorrow i will just be waiting for Monday morning at 8:30 so i can register and see if my roommates and dorm are up yet! and then after that i will be facebooking away my roommates and getting all excited for college! i need to make a list of things i should get...but now i should go to sleep, i can do that tomorrow! :D

and she is so pretty, like gorgeous.

i bet she will be at Taylor Mathew's concert tonight. which is where i wish i was. but someday. California will still be there for me. unless it falls into the ocean.

there's this girl named Meg Kelley who just turned sixteen and she looks older than i am and she is an amazing singer. so jealous.

list of things i need to do before college

- learn how to put on makeup correctly including getting foundation that works so i have the illusion of perfect skin and figure out how to use eye liner correctly and have a go to look that looks flawless all the time.
- go shopping and get a bunch of new awesome clothes. i already started this in California.
- get all that other college stuff.
- enjoy my summer.
- spend a day in Boston.
yeah. can you tell i have been thinking about college recently?

so babson lets you create your whole schedule yourself...like there are required classes to take but you can choose your professor and at what time. so i have gone crazy with this creating multiple different schedules. but i have narrowed it down to two different ones, one i take spanish and the other i take accounting instead. so i will have to wait and see first of all what spanish class i am placed in - i'm assuming intermediate, if i'm placed in beginner i will be insulted and the only other one is advanced which i doubt i'm ready for. but i'm thinking i should wait and take spanish next year instead. which i will probably do. then i get accounting instead, yippee! but my schedule looks pretty decent, my earliest classes are at 9:45 and i am always done by 4:40, and i don't have any classes on Fridays and Thursday my classes start at 11:30 and i'm done by 1:40, i mean my weekends will rock - from 1:40 on Thursday until 9:45 on Monday every week is pretty good i think. anyways it's past midnight so i should go to sleep. i really should work on my sleeping schedule. but ehh whatever.

i'm going to miss my horse.

today i went to the barn at 8 at night, no one was there, i turned up the radio, braided Dolly's hair, then rode her around bareback with her bitless bridle. i cantered her around and then let her walk wherever she wanted while i did around the world and just laid on her back. and then after i got off she followed me around and even trotted to keep up with me.

she's the best. sometimes i forget that she is my best friend.

the scary thing about traveling is that it changes you. secret: that's also the amazing part.

every time you go someplace new, you change a little bit - you see the world in a slightly different way. sometimes you can't notice it. but sometimes it throws your life in a completely different direction.

knowing that sometimes makes people not want to travel. they are too afraid to leave the little life they know, with the familiar roads and faces. i'm not like that. bring on the change. i want to see the world. i don't think i will find out who i truly am until i've seen the world.

every trip has changed me. mostly they have given me confident boosts. all in different ways. and helped me understand the world a little bit better.

i think. i hope. who actually knows.

The internet and technology gives people an excuse to not connect with each other. A quick happy birthday on their facebook wall. Like a picture. A tweet. A few texts. None of it compares to face to face talking with someone. A conversation in person, not through texts.

Maybe that's why I want to go back to California. Because I feel like I need more of those, conversations, with the people in California.

Until then I will focus on the conversations I need to have here.

i'm really tired, i should get up and then go to sleep. i slept for thirteen hours last night.

it would cost me less than $500 for direct flights to and from LA on the weekend of October 5th. i would leave after classes on October 4th and come back on Monday, since we have that day off.

i'm crazy i know. but this is all assuming i could hang out with Lou, Taylor, Lisa, or Jake the whole time. preferably Lou and Taylor. because if I didn't have my Cali friends to hang out with then being by myself would suck. but it would be so amazing to hang out with all of them for a weekend.

i really should stop thinking about that, since i probably won't be able to do it. and by the time i would i will be in college and might not want to. ha. i still will.

this is a strange summer. because usually i know exactly what is coming after the summer, another year in Westhampton. but really this summer is just a countdown to the unknown and to changes. everything will be different. i will be living someplace else with completely different people in a completely different place. it would be hard to change much more. well i could be going to college in California.

why do i like California so much? it's partly that it isn't 90 degrees there, it's a perfect 70-80 range everyday. and mainly it's the people. i think if i hadn't met all those awesome people then California might not seem so awesome. maybe that's my problem. but it's also so pretty there, from the beaches to the mountains. i love, love, the views of the mountains. honestly, i didn't even mind the traffic as much as the rest of my family did. it's just part of life, we can deal with it, we get there when we get there. or maybe it was the complete disconnect i had from back home. i didn't text josh for the first fews day, i never went on facebook, or checked anyones tumblr, i just lived my life. it inspired me to reach for my dreams and goals seeing Taylor out there living his, 20 years old and already living out there on his own for a year and a half. when i'm 20 i'll still be in school. i can't wait to see what life has in store for me. i know i'm going to go places, literally. i just don't think i'll be happy if i live in Westhampton for the rest of my life when there are such amazing places out there.

but i really should go to sleep now. but i just want to go back to california instead. or go someplace amazing. or do something. i want to do something.

let the sneezing begin.

i can't remember sneezing once while in california, and i definitely did not have any sneezing fits like i just had.

let me go back. california! please!

this is the first time i have really liked some place where we went enough to want to stay. well i did plan the trip so naturally. anyways i really should go to sleep.

first i'm listening to michael castro's new album.

don't get me wrong, i love josh, i do, but it is hard to remember when you are on the other side of the country. i know once i see him tomorrow everything will be fine. but right now i don't even want to see him. which is bad, i know. but tomorrow i'll see him and i'll feel better and I will forget what I am feeling now.

but i actually miss California. i met all these amazing people. first mom's friend Lisa and her son Jake, who i wish we could have spent more time with. then all the youtubers. i got so many pictures with famous youtubers. meeting the shaytards were amazing, they are so nice and kind and awesome. and all the people we talked to were so nice and awesome. tom milsom was so much funnier in person than i would have thought - i saw his panel and him and the other tom from australia, and they were so funny. so tom milsom is my favorite. and then on top of that taylor mathews and lou, who are both awesome. i can't wait to see them again. i had the thought that i could fly down to LA on a long weekend i have free from college by myself and go hang out with Lou and Taylor and maybe see him perform. of course it might not end up like that, they might not feel like hosting me or whatever. they both said they will miss us but they only spent one day with us so how much can they miss us? lou followed me on twitter and instagram, but taylor did not ): but anyways, yeah.

i do miss California. my life seems disappointing compared to our life in California. i can't wait to start my career and such. i had the thought of being a big shot music company/producer and finding small talent like Taylor and making them huge sensations and all. that would be fun. but who knows what i will end up doing. first i have to make it through this lazy summer, then college, and yeah.

and abby we should do a girls night out or something because is josh is the only person other than my family i see all summer i'm going to go crazy.

abby, seeing that you have doubts about you and Colin makes me feel so much better. usually during vacations i'm all, i miss Josh and i wish Josh was here. but this vacation, texting him has just been a pain. and really this vacation has just made me think. i think that i'm not cut out for long distance relationships. either i'm all moody and grumpy because Josh is off doing things without me, or I'm off doing things and I don't think about him at all and honestly, don't really care. when I'm with Josh though, it's great. and I never want to leave. but once I leave then usually I'm fine. or sometimes when i go through a few days of not seeing him I get grumpy and moody.

but California. gosh. it just makes me want to go to college and then be done with college so i can start my life and see the world and move somewhere else and make a living and all. Taylor Mathews moved from home at 19 and he's going after what he wants and just living his life. i can't wait to do that. i don't know if i'm ready though, which is why college is probably good for me.

but Taylor Mathews is so awesome. I can't wait until I'm older and can go visit him or see his shows without the rest of my family.

but hey hey i got to sign for myself for the first time today since i'm 18 now!

back to josh though - and i just realized the last three paragraphs started with "but" - i think we will stay together during the summer when i see him all the time and everything is lovely, but when college starts it's going to be tough. i'm not saying we can't do it - last time i talked to josh about it he had the utmost confidence that we would be fine, but after having such a great time in California without him and when texting him became more of a pain, i'm not so sure. but don't worry, i'll tell all of this to him, but probably in nicer terms. and he'll probably just comfort me and say don't worry, we will stick together in college.

and by the way i'm going to live on Mulholland Drive someday overlooking the mountains. and now I'm going to go look up houses like that instead of going to sleep even though i have to wake up at 3:45 to go to the airport tomorrow. yay!