it kind of sucks to be at a dance and see the guy you have a crush on fawning all over and following and dancing with another girl all night. especially when that girl is one of your friends and in your friend group so you are literally watching him do this all night. but at least you know that he has no chance with her because all the guys pursue her and she is always nice to all of them and flirts with them because that is just her personality but never does anything with them. he was already gone when I saw her later in one of the suites - but maybe he will show up later. anyways it kind of sucked. I really just want to get out of her and be surrounded by new people because I am kind of sick of these people. and it kind of sucks when all but one of your friends have boyfriends. so you feel like a third wheel a lot. but I managed to dance with all the boyfriends at first just for fun but then Emily said that jealousy is a good tool, so then to try to make Hanson jealous but I don't think it worked because he literally just stared at Maria all night. I told her at one point good luck after making it really awkward being like "soo...Maria...." and giving him looks which he didn't appreciate, but he did appreciate the luck because he said he was going to need to. but I may have made Chris Harrington jealous because when I was dancing with Mike when I was done, passing his hand back to Roxy, he grabbed mine and Mike's so then it was just three plus Roxy all dancing together and then Ellie joined and then a bunch of people joined so I stopped that hand holding pretty quickly. but I thought that Chris had another girl he was into but whatever. if he had asked me out I would have said yes. there are a lot of guys I would have said yes to if they asked me out but they never did. so single life for molly.

also Abby posted a bunch of throw back pictures of Josh, one of which was from before senior prom at my dad's lake house with my cropped out of it. like what the hell.

i'm trying not to be sad about all of this because I know it doesn't really matter but I am sad. I should just go to sleep. okay goodnight.