i'm freaking out again. it is so hot out and I can't fall asleep. and I just want to cry but I don't even know about what. I guess just all this change. and feeling alone.

I made it through the weekend at maine and i'm almost done with senior week. and we are having all these cutesy fun friend moments but it's like you don't even know me or really care except for like 2 of you, one of which I don't even want to be friends with anymore. i'm ready for new people. but at the same time i'm just exhausted and don't know if I can do this. it's just so big and I have to put myself out there and do so much. and ah I just want to sleep but I can't sleep.

maybe i'll watch a movie or talk to derek or I don't know. i'm just going crazy.