I hate when I am in this mood.

this mood where i don't want to do anything. when i'm moody and crabby. like we were going to go shopping but i don't know why but i just don't want to. then i get all sad and depressed and mad because bella and maeve made plans to go without me. and i feel like crap. i'm just sitting at home on my laptop. josh is off with his jazz band. maybe this is how he feels when i go off and do things without me. it's going to suck when he goes to New York with this asian civ class and when he goes on his cruise. i'm depressed after one day of him being away. if he's the reason. why wouldn't he be? he controls all my feelings most of the time. now i should go do something. i think i'll read. maybe that will make me feel better. and i'll just wait until 4ish when Josh can text me again. another hour. i'm so pathetic.