only 7 more days of classes. then four days of finals. but i know it will go by fast. i was about to write, i can't wait, but i really can because i'm afraid of what i will find when i go home. but i am still excited to go home. i created more possible drama between my parents regarding going to new york city to see R5 and Taylor at another show, because my dad thought it was his idea so he would bring us but i just told my mom as if it was my idea so she would bring us. i don't know what's going on with that. my mom said that my dad is making plans and moving forward while she is just taking things one day at a time. but we have the tickets to the show, so i'll be going to the NYC and Boston shows, just hopefully i'll be able to enjoy both of them without feeling bad about some parent thing.

i talked to my dad some more on the ride up here and i have a better understand of what actually happened but it still makes me feel sick thinking about it. like this yucky twisting knot in my stomach. so i'm going to stop talking about it now.

maybe that is why since i found out i have been obsessing on stuff. like watching every episode of Beauty and the Beast (the cool tv show) that has aired. and then moving on to every youtube video R5 posted. now i should be focusing on school. i have two essay due next thursday, a speech next tuesday, and then finals to prepare for. and fme to worry about. tomorrow we decide who is going to be ceo and such. fun stuff. i hope i'm ceo but at the same time if i'm not then that at least is less work for me.

and i know for a fact that i am fatter now. freshman 15 is mine. i have like a belly, like a gut. i want my flat stomach back. whenever i mention this people are like you aren't fat, you were underweight before, you still don't weigh that much. yeah but me personally would like to weigh slightly less and have a flatter stomach. i want to go to the gym three times a week but it's hard to find time and when i have time usually all i want to do is go on the internet, not walk through the cold to the gym. new years resolution.

okay i think i might go by some more R5 songs and then go to sleep. oh crap, i just remembered things i need to do. let me do those and then i'll return to my new R5 obsession.

is it bad that i imagine me and one of the members hitting it off during this two shows and us becoming best friends? i can be hopefully right? and also one of my personal goals, which is probably really weird and i may have already mentioned, is to go on a date with Taylor Mathews. maybe I should add Riker or Rocky Lynch to that list. ah i'm just as bad as those crazy fan girls. i've already bought Taylor's friendship. I'm stalking R5 at two shows. well not really stalking, just going to two of the same show but i've done that before - Glee two nights in a row! and i did some real hotel stalking the year before. anyways, i guess it's just something to think about. and i want to keep writing for some reason.

i kind of wish i did NaNoWriMo this year but I know i wouldn't have had time without staying up super late each night. no, molly, stop writing and go do what you need to do. okay.