i love you.

i hate those words. well not really. they are just kind of scary. and i don't like all the meaning packed behind them and how they can be twisted and used in so many ways.

like i see people on facebook who have been dating each other for like 4 months and they say "i love you so much!" and honestly i don't think they do. or maybe they do, i have no right to say.

no, josh and i haven't said it to each other. so i'm saying i don't love him? i don't know. they are loaded words and by saying them i feel like the sense of commitment just increases by a lot.

today we went to the movies and right after it finished we were talking and i was smiling, no i was grinning, one of those wide spread truly happy smiles. i can't remember what he said or what we were talking about. all i remember was when i had that huge smile on my face it popped into my head to say "I love you." i didn't though.

i think the day i know i love him is when i don't think about saying it, i just do. it will just come out because i can't hold it in any longer. so i know it's my heart speaking and not my head.

ooooh so romantic and corny. you can't blame me, i just saw the first part of Breaking Dawn.