okay well today i didn't go the school. instead i woke up at 4:30 and went to a horse show. i waited around all day for one class. i blew it. of course. ONE STUPID LITTLE MISTAKE. i had to the chance to compete in the nationals in OHIO but noooooo i had to ruin it because i made ONE MISTAKE. seriously that was it. one stupid mistake. i was boxed it and my horse broke. i should have just sent him forward and who cared if he bit the horse in front of me or ran them over. at least i wouldn't have broke and i most likely would be traveling to Ohio with my sister at the end of this month.

yep. Maeve made it to Nationals in jumping. so Maeve and my mother shall be taking a plane to Ohio and I will be stuck at home. isn't that just wonderful? i know it isn't a competition between us but still it's hard not to when you are stuck at home and your sister is competing against kids ALL OVER THE COUNTRY and you BLEW IT.

i got ninth out of 12 and i guess it good that i even made it to zones. only the top make it there so yeah but still. of course i was upset that i didn't make it and my coach and mother tried to make it better like saying how they were still proud of me and i had a great ride and blah blah. really that made it worse. every time they brought it up i started to cry.

Maeve got last in her other class. That wasn't as big of a deal though since she had already qualified for nationals but still i wasn't there when she heard she got last. i was the most upset and i really hate myself for it. i mean i made it there i should just be happy with that. but no, not molly she is never satisfied. my instructor probably thinks that i am an ungrateful little kid who isn't happy with what she has.

so yeah. i am really disappointed. it seemed like a waste of my time. and tomorrow instead of telling everyone that i am going to OHIO for NATIONALS i get to say i got NINTH out of TWELFTH! wooo! of course they won't understand it completely but 1st sounds better than 9th.

GGGAAAAAHHHHHH