well this is a thanks to you Abby for making me get on here and see i have a new follower...creepy. well i sort of blocked her and then made my blog viewable to people i invited only. so no more creepy people. of course Abby you are the only one i invited. (:

just wanted to say that. now i have to work on a stupid essay. toodleooos.

"so are you happy with these?"

thanks Dad. that really makes me feel better.

yep. he asked me that about my report card.

he also said

"she had to give you a 99 in health not a 100"

thanks for being supportive.

i know my dad had a hard day because he took an evening lead when he wanted to be home and it didn't sell.

but still that makes me feel really good about my grades.

and there was no good job or anything.

thanks.

Romeo and Juliet...Not.

This is a tale based on a true story. Everything is my own and no one else's so don't steal or anything bad like that...(:

Romeo and Juliet...Not

My mouth moved into a tight line as I ran into yet another person in the hallway. Can't they see that there is someone trying to get by them? Um. I think not since all they think about is themselves and getting to lunch on time. They didn't think about the people who were trying to get to Health class on time alive.

This week had been a hard one. I still wasn't caught up on sleep from the horse show I had the weekend before and the disappointment that came after it. Luckily I have the most amazing friends who help me through it even if they don't understand horses. I was about to see the very best one next period. The one I called my Twin. Annabelle. Health class was an amazing class to begin with since I used the stuff I learned in there everyday - like that pensive friend of my mother and asking people if they want advice. Practical everyday things! Who could not like Health class?

As I stepped into the room I automatically smiled seeing Annabelle waving at my new seats. We had changed yesterday and I had been looking at this horse with my riding instructor - crazy crazy week. As I sat down I looked to see where everyone else was sitting. Quiet Rachel in front of me, no one behind me, Annoying Hillary over behind Annabelle, Darling Deanna over there, and the bunch of kids that our group did not socialize. I spotted Jacob a row over from Annabelle.

I'm going to take this time to describe Jacob a little bit because his personality will take up a whole paragraph. He is an extremely smart guy and both his parents are teachers. He is sort of like the typical class geek I guess but not really. He is an actor and thinks he knows how to sing but I don't think he does. Starting to get a picture of him? He enjoys annoying Annabelle for no apparent reason. He sort of hangs out with our group probably because he has no one else to talk to. Well he had a bunch of people that will talk to him but none of them are really his friends except for maybe two or three.

My eyes were drawn to the door as I saw Stacey walk into the room. Another one of my wonderful friends. She had study hall this period but I knew for a fact she enjoyed our Health class much  more than study hall. I mean, who wouldn't want two periods of Health right in a row?

Stacey barely had a chance to sit herself down behind me before Jacob was next to her asking her if she was ready for the science class that the three of us had next period. I made a mental note to myself before slipping away to work on my project with my group.

_______

I glanced up at the clock and I hadn't even figured out what time it was when the bell rang for lunch. Health class had middle lunch which meant we had half of Health class then lunch then the rest of class. I waited for Stacey and Annabelle, along with Mary, before heading out the door. I was going around the corner of the door to head down the hall when I was almost run over my Jacob trying to pass in between me and the door where he got cut off. Instead he just waited until I was out of the door then walked after and pretty much went in front of Annabelle, Mary, and I and walked next to Stacey. I watched them as the two of them walked faster than us and were shoulder and shoulder down the hall. I glanced over at Annabelle before I started coughing.

I grinned and coughed some more on purpose. I kept doing my obvious coughing until Annabelle looked over at me and I waved my lunch money at the two of them in front of me. She grinned back and started to cough as well. I coughed some. Well, I wasn't alone with my thoughts about them.

okay well today i didn't go the school. instead i woke up at 4:30 and went to a horse show. i waited around all day for one class. i blew it. of course. ONE STUPID LITTLE MISTAKE. i had to the chance to compete in the nationals in OHIO but noooooo i had to ruin it because i made ONE MISTAKE. seriously that was it. one stupid mistake. i was boxed it and my horse broke. i should have just sent him forward and who cared if he bit the horse in front of me or ran them over. at least i wouldn't have broke and i most likely would be traveling to Ohio with my sister at the end of this month.

yep. Maeve made it to Nationals in jumping. so Maeve and my mother shall be taking a plane to Ohio and I will be stuck at home. isn't that just wonderful? i know it isn't a competition between us but still it's hard not to when you are stuck at home and your sister is competing against kids ALL OVER THE COUNTRY and you BLEW IT.

i got ninth out of 12 and i guess it good that i even made it to zones. only the top make it there so yeah but still. of course i was upset that i didn't make it and my coach and mother tried to make it better like saying how they were still proud of me and i had a great ride and blah blah. really that made it worse. every time they brought it up i started to cry.

Maeve got last in her other class. That wasn't as big of a deal though since she had already qualified for nationals but still i wasn't there when she heard she got last. i was the most upset and i really hate myself for it. i mean i made it there i should just be happy with that. but no, not molly she is never satisfied. my instructor probably thinks that i am an ungrateful little kid who isn't happy with what she has.

so yeah. i am really disappointed. it seemed like a waste of my time. and tomorrow instead of telling everyone that i am going to OHIO for NATIONALS i get to say i got NINTH out of TWELFTH! wooo! of course they won't understand it completely but 1st sounds better than 9th.

GGGAAAAAHHHHHH

i feel like exploding. or imploding. or just plain crying. why you may ask? the most obvious reason would be because i was going to try to instruct Maeve on how to draw the word thing that we did in health and she got all frustrated and pissy which affect my mood and made me them same way. then she was like JUST DO IT. I'M READY. and i wouldn't do it, i just drew the word on the paper. THANKS FOR GIVING IT AWAY. then i gave told her that she was the one who got upset first and her mood affects everyone else.

of course i'm sure that this whole week has an affect on it too. i am tired. it is 8:30. i should study for health. i'm not going to ask anyone to help study with me now cause i would most likely just be frustrated. i know myself like that. well sort of. this whole week has put my off. i need my schedule to be the same. i need constants in my life. this week has been all over the place. the boy at school. career stuff. the stupid history skit. staying up till midnight one night. 10:30 the next. yeah. i'm just about dead. i'm going to bed after i write this.

but i need to finish my journal. and i will fail this health quiz if i don't do some studying. but i need sleep. i need to cry.

isn't it weird that when you want to cry you can't. when you don't want to cry you want to badly. does that make sense? like right now i'm in the middle of the kitchen and everyone would hear me cry and i don't want that. yet i feel like crying. but i bet you by the time i get up into the shower i won't feel like crying even though that is the time that i can. fun.

i'm going to quote something i said to Abby earlier today online:

remember 7th grade. 6th period. health....i remember one day we were towards the back of the room in the right near the windows. i wanted to be your friend badly. i didn't have any friends since i didn't have any classes with my friends from elementary school. you must have asked me what i was reading and what it was about. i told you. you said something about how you liked fantasy better cause i had a more realistic fiction book. i thought i had just ruined our friendship right there...now look at us.

and her response:

lol wow, that is crazy i thought the same thing!

now i feel much more relaxed. i'm not going to cry. but when i start to think about the health quiz and the journal waiting to be done it come back. the pain in my cheekbones and jaw from me holding back the tears. i'm not telling myself to do that, it just is.

procrastination is no fun. at all.

neither is this.

is it bad that i just called the horse we may get the name of a horse we visited before and was too small for me? and that i didn't catch it, my mother did?

um. yeah.

abby: "i need to talk to my phone."

stephanie: "you two better get a room."

<3

happy april fool's day. or fools' day. or april's fools. or whatever.

i told abby that you can learn more about me by reading my blog than actually being around me. that shows you how much i express how i am feeling during the day. guess how many people other than me read this? one. wow. i gave one other person the link when i first started, she has probably lost the link and forgotten all about it. i had it on my AIM profile for a while so unless someone took it from there and kept it and has been reading all of these without me knowing. creeper.

so guess what i did today? made a complete fool of myself. YAYYYYYYY! how you may ask? history. stupid history. normally i love that class. I like Mr. Touchette, the work isn't that hard, Stephanie and Abby are in it along with JonJay and Josh which makes it entertaining not to mention we all sit next to each other, and i like the atmosphere of the class most of the time.

except for the past couple of days. ew.

we had to do this skit in a group. we didn't get to pick our group. i got stuck in probably the worse possible group. I'm not going to say names cause really names don't matter it is their personality that matters. One girl didn't want to be with us at all, you could tell she pretty much hated us, i'm not friends with her and i don't want to be friends with her at all before and after this. so she was no help. i'll name Josh's name. he was fine. the only one that actually contributed something other than some poorly made signs. the poorly made signs go the next guy. idiot. he didn't do anything either except for being stupid, getting off topic, and just generally not doing anything productive. he was set on having handcuffs that we made him not use in the end. the last would be a 10th grader. i'm in 9th grade. yep, he failed last year. that says something right there. he kept getting distracted, talking about other things. he didn't do crap either. then you have me. i had just received a 100 on the last test. the highest in the grade. and i didn't just get it. Mr. Touchette announced it in front of the whole class. they must have all been loving me getting my 100 while they were looking at their 52.

anyways. the days we were suppose to work on it were completely unsuccessful. i did most of the script at home. we read it through once. we didn't even act it out. and...show time! we bombed it. it was suppose to be 5 minutes, i doubt it was even 3 minutes. then the two idiots left the stage when they weren't suppose to. bye bye! the only the okay part was Mr. T had us write what we contributed to the group on a piece of paper. i wonder what they put on. actually i can tell you. the girl: "conclusion and introduction after Molly pushed me to do it and it took me almost one class period to just write the conclusion!" the guy: "i made some signs that looked awful. i also made some handcuffs which were a waste of paper and staples. i also wasted staples by stapling them into the air." the 10th grader: "nothing. except for talk about things off topic and yell at Cody." hopefully Josh thought of something good to put down since i can't think of anything, probably since i am on the topic of horribleness.

so yeah. i'm screwed. but i want them to get the grade they deserve.

i can't do everything can i?

i won't be in school on Monday. it will be the first day of school that i will miss. i have a horse show. i am extremely nervous. i have to get in the top four to go onto nationals. nationals is in Ohio this year. fun. i was suppose to have to go to regionals first but with the amount of people that qualified in my division we just went straight to zones. maeve has to go through regionals first. then zones where i am. i hope she makes it to zones just because i am already in zones. not that it is competition between us because it isn't. at all. but of course i can't help comparing myself to her and i normally fall short. -shrug-

last year i did the same thing as this year, just flat. i didn't make it to regionals. this is maeve's first year. she is doing jumping and flat. she made it to regionals. hmm...we have been riding the same amount of years which is hard as well since you would think that i am older that i would be better but nope, we are suppose to be the same since we started at the same time. she would probably be better than me except for the fact that i am bigger so i can handle bigger horse. yep.

i will probably miss school Wednesday morning and if not Wednesday then Friday. it's so my trainer can come and look at this horse we are thinking about buying. did i say we? i meant I. cause i am paying for this horse. going to wipe out my whole bank account and then some. that is if we buy this horse. hopefully we do. not going to go into all of that.

i'm going to end with a wish. i wish there was someone i could talk horses with other than Maeve and my mom. i have no friends that ride horses. fun.

oh and yeah. today is the first of April. i hate this day. luckily nothing has happened to me. except for last night there was no toilet paper left...