just talking to him puts me in such a good mood.
like all day today sucked and i wasn't able to text him but then he comes online and i instantly am so much happier.
i miss hearing my phone vibrating and knowing it's from him and rushing to see what he said.
but instead i'm stuck talking to him online when we're both home.
four hours on facebook chat really doesn't beat texting him all day.

i'm going crazy not being able to text josh. like it's killing me. i keep wanting to check my phone. this will be the first time where i am home and he doesn't text me. blahh.

woke up on my birthday in a bad mood, went to sleep on my birthday in a bad mood.

it all works out nicely, doesn't it?

so for my birthday Josh gave me the picture of us at prom framed, two actually. and it made me cry a bit. because it reminded me about how i completely messed up prom by going with the wrong guy. and really i just want to forget that night all together. but now i have these lovely pictures to remind me. and yeah. i would have been happier with a necklace, like everyone else got me, or a ring. and now i'm just blah. but it is the only picture we have together, just the two of us. but yeah.

birthday, again.

so far on my birthday i have:
- woken up to my alarm at 8 o'clock.
- saw that no one texted me.
- have my dad ask me how i am, without wishing me happy birthday.
- have my mom wish me happy birthday.
- have my mom suggest that the workers sing me happy birthday in Ukraine
- burn my bagel for breakfast.
- eat this bagel anyways.
- Josh text me before he's about to go to work, informing me that he's about to go to work.
- look at everyone who said happy birthday on my facebook wall already, half of them wouldn't know it was my birthday if i didn't have it listed.
- be reminded that i have to share my birthday with Nate Boutlier.
- have my aunt text me happy birthday.
- and now i have to leave for camp.

we're off to a great start.

so i like fireworks. i do not like the fact that someone we ended up sitting next to obnoxious kids from our school but we didn't actually socialize with them so it was fine. and i like having Josh drive me around. and i like when we sing in the car along to the CD i made him and how he knows the words better than i do to some songs. i do not like that i have to wake up at 8 tomorrow. and it's almost midnight now. i like that tomorrow's my birthday and i get to see Josh and Abby and everyone one again.

really that's the only thing my birthday is good for, giving me the excuse to have a bunch of people over the pool, and the chance the eat ice cream. pretttty much it. but it should be good. minus the whole waking up and dealing with horse camp. but horse camp shouldn't be that bad either.

but i'll be going to sleep soon, cause Josh should be arriving at his house in around 5 minutes. but only 35 minutes until my birthday. too bad i can't really stay up for it. well i could, we'll see what time Josh texts me and how tired I am. wait, did i just ask that? yeah i'm tired enough to have been asleep hours ago. and probably should have so i'm not exhausted for horse camp. whatever, it's summer. you know what i'm going to do? i'm going to go look at posts from last horse camp.

okay I didn't find anything about horse camp but look what I did find:

TUESDAY, JUNE 15, 2010

11th grade. read this. k?
this isn't really about 11th grade because i don't feel like a junior yet. juniors are old. i'm not old.

this is about a resolution i am making for 11th grade. this is if there is someone in the class that a) i think would make a good friend b) is very cute c) would like to know better d) for some reason i just want to talk to...i will talk to them. i will talk to them more than once. i will make an effort to get to know them. not just an effort. a big effort. unless i find out there are a completely jerk/creeper/dud/woahno. because i could give you a list of people this year who i would have liked to have gotten to know but i didn't because i never took the first step and said hi to them. so nothing happened. next year, i'll talk to everyone though and i won't miss out on anyone.

there you go. now i am going to get something to eat and go babysit because this resolution does not effect me until September 3rd 2010. boom.

I forgot about that but hi Josh Rivard, that would be you. so i guess i could say i fulfilled my resolution, if that's what you do with resolutions, or is it keep? don't you keep your resolutions.

i don't know. anyways i'm going to take out my contacts cause Josh will be home soon and then I'll be going to sleep! less than 30 minutes until i'm 17.

such a crazy weekend.

let's see. when did i last post? oh right, thursday night when i stayed up until past midnight talking to josh for 5 hours.

well friday i went and worked in the office in the morning. then i went to the barn to get ready for the horse show. didn't finish getting ready. then went to an interview for states which took forever. but i got in. and then i went back to the barn at 9:30 at night and finished braiding.

saturday i woke up at 5:30 in the morning. went to a horse show. had my horse buck and act weird at the canter. whatever. then i went home, took a shower, and got ready to go to taylor swift. then we went and saw Taylor Swift.

let me just say I'm so glad Josh came. i wouldn't have wanted anyone else there with me. it started pouring rain, like extreme pouring, but we just stuck it out. at the end we were just hugging each other trying to give each other body heat it was so cold and wet. but i loved it. i loved it so much. because that's the kind of thing you're going to remember. "remember when we went to the Taylor Swift concert and it poured?" on the way home he got "yelled" at because he was trying to tell scary stories but Maeve was having none of it. but then my mom shut him up by saying that she had the power to ground me. that would be the only thing that was sort of bad. but seriously, it could have went so much worse. especially since Maeve, my mom, and I were exhausted from waking up at 5:30. Maeve got mad at us once because she was filming herself and we were jumping around behind her and when she asked what we did, i was just laughing. we were under instructions not to be lovey-dovey but that didn't happen. the only time Maeve got mad at me for that was when Josh was showing me that his goldfish didn't have a smile and I ate it. but I'm smiling remembering that. Maeve will understand eventually when it's like to have someone who just makes you so happy.

and when he got tired of playing with the glowsticks we both fell asleep but we were holding hands the whole time. it was so great waking up and having his hand holding mine. and then tonight i get to go see the fireworks with him. and then tomorrow he gets to come over to the pool so i get to spend that night with him too.

i'm so exhausted though. even though i slept until 2:30 this afternoon. and i'll be even more tired after staying out for the fireworks. and tomorrow i have to wake up early for horse camp. but that's what the summer is about.

i love it. (: