hello I have owed you a post. and right now I am tired and should be sleeping but it's not that late. so now I will talk with you.

I went and visited Maeve at her college. and it was so strange. she was so at home at college. she knew all these people and just fit in. she was all grown up. she knew her way around, she had friends, she stopped to talk to people as we were walking around. it was so weird. I am so proud of her and I am so happy she is enjoying it. I guess it is hard to see your little sister grow up.

what else is happening in my life. i'm currently dogsitting two dogs at two different houses from Thursday until Tuesday. so that's exciting. last weekend I have been babysitting. so I really haven't had a weekend on campus yet. which is fine.

i'm kind of getting ready to be done with college. i'm getting sick of seeing the same people all the time. and the same old same old. I mean I still love it, but i'm so used to it. the 4th time starting a new year the magic sort of wears off. I mean I have an awesome year planned and I know I will enjoy myself but just little things are starting to rub me the wrong way. like having to fight to keep a room I reserved in the library. and people who are nice and friendly to you but you both know that you just don't click. and having your close friends but knowing that you annoy them and they annoy you sometimes and just the same old stuff. but I guess that is life right? I should get used to it because I can't just up and move whenever I get sick of it...well maybe I can but we will see about that.

so the other day I was researching companies I might want to apply to. and I stumbled upon this smaller company and I didn't understand how it worked. so I created an account and all and I kind of figured it out. but they sent me one of those generic emails about how I haven't done anything yet. so I emailed them back and said I wasn't really making an account I was just curious and if I could talk to someone. they said yeah! so I talked on the phone with these guys and what they were doing made sense and all and it was pretty interesting. and then they sort of offered me an internship because they are doing a campus rep program. so they are supposed to send me more about it. interested how things happen. not sure if it will happen, but it's good to talk to people.

well in some cases it is good to talk to people. so I had talked about Andrew before right? hold on let me check. oooh I left off at the first convo. anyways I kept talking to him for a while and I found out things were going on with his girlfriend...and he was hard core flirting. anyways I decided it was too weird for me because he was still posting stuff about his girlfriend on social media. but I didn't hear from him for a while and then I liked something he posted on facebook and then he messaged me about how we hadn't talked in a while and he was busy. but then he called me "darling." so I called him out and said it made me uncomfortable that he was flirting with me while he had a girlfriend. and he sort of shut up pretty quickly, I tried to keep the convo going a bit longer but he wasn't having any of it. so I am assuming that he won't be talking to me anymore...I think i'll add all of our convos at the end of this just to keep them. don't be mad at me for talking to him as long as I did. sometimes it takes my brain a little while to kick in between all the hormones and emotions and stuff.

what else? still have a kind of weird friendship with Derek. no real father drama.

oooh. I remember. I got a text the other day from a number I didn't have in my phone that said "Hey" so I said "Hey, who is this?" and they responded "Bea" to which I didn't respond. you remember Bea, right? anyways there was a falling out between her and my sister and i'm pretty sure Bea said or did some things that I didn't like either. but then out of the blue she sent my sister an email, which was the letter she had talked about in a video a long time ago but never wrote/sent. but then when Maeve wanted to talk on the phone with her she had to study for a test...so Maeve hasn't talked to her. and then I got this. and I didn't respond after that, and she didn't say anything else. like I told Maeve, both Maeve and I have moved in our lives and we don't need Bea as a friend. so i'm not going to be chasing after or trying to mend this friendship. Bea was never that great of a friend anyways, she was so caught up with herself. so just as well. I still wish her well and hope she is enjoying college, but to be honest i'm assuming her reaching out to me and Maeve means she might not be doing great. she just has to hold in there and find herself a bit and grow up and she will do okay.

anything else? dealing with classes. I don't feel like a senior. I still feel so young and like I don't know what im doing. i'm going to go to chile in 2 months. and then to paris in march. what. I don't know.

I should sleep because I need to do work in the morning and then I have to go to Boston for a Hacking Arts meeting and party. and I still have two dogs to take care of. and then school the day after. but I start ceramics on Monday so I am excited for that. ahh okay let me slowly start getting ready for bed.