yesterday was Maeve's birthday and I didn't post.

happy birthday Maeve!

- insert analyzation of birthdays here -

i'm spending my weekend with Bella. saw a movie last night. doing work today for 4H and her history day project. then we're going to a soccer game. yeah!

she will be here any second so i'm leaving now. peace.

i don't like it when people end things with "peace" it's weird.

you're hot and you're cold.

sometimes i enjoy spending time with Bella. sometimes i don't.

apparently Bella invited herself to go to the play with Maeve. it was my idea for Maeve and I to go to the play tonight in the first place. but Bella invited herself along.

alright.

then we sit where she wants to sit because she doesn't like sitting up close to the stage. i enjoy sitting close so i can clearly see the expression on all of the actors faces. i couldn't do that where we were sitting but we do what bella wants to do.

the rest of the play was fine. during break her and Maeve ran down to a water fountain but that wasn't a big deal. but then after the play we were over waiting for my mom to pick us up. Jayna came over and gave me a hug. and then Maeve, Bella, and Maura ran up to Maeve's locker. so i was talking to Jayna and Mollie. then Abby comes over. then Abby leaves. then Mollie leaves. then Jayna leaves. i'm standing there by myself. and everyone is around me talking to their friends and hanging out. i'm standing there awkwardly. i call Maeve and tell her to get back down here. so i wait. and i wait. and finally they come down and Bella's all like "she's not even here yet why did we have to come down". and that sort of stuff just annoys me so much because all she is thinking about is herself. she doesn't think about me and how i have to stand there awkwardly by myself. it's like what the heck? so then i was annoyed at her for the rest of the ride home. but i'll see her tomorrow at the riding lesson and then i think i am going over her house on sunday. i hope someone will be home to rescue me from her because i can't stand being around her and her mom for too long.

oh and her status was "play w/ maevey in a few..." oh okay bella. glad you appreciate me.

but whatever. i really don't care about bella but it just annoys me. it annoys me more than it should because it's so miniscule.

new subject. i started a new story for NaNo. i couldn't get past 3,605 words out of the 50,000 that i need. maybe it is because i was trying to compare the beginning part too much to Abby's life. so i am starting new. and now i have 2,074 words and i've only worked on it today. so i think i'll be alright if i try to catch up by the end of this weekend. but i don't have any history homework.

and Abby don't worry. this is just a bump in the road in the big scheme of things. right now it seems like a big deal. but don't worry. you'll be fine. i know it. because you are so strong and amazing.

i'm really tired. and i tried beatboxing today but it didn't go that well. i might try again tomorrow. now i think i am going to maybe watch my subscriptions on youtube and maybe write some more of my story if i'm feeling it and then go to bed. and tomorrow i have a riding lesson. and then i want to do absolutely nothing.

and i am proud of myself. i brought home my first pot from ceramics today. and i like it very much. of course everything else i've made has been a lot better. but it is still beautiful. and i am proud that i was able to make something all on my own. i have this object that i made. and it will be around for a long time. and it's different than just painting pottery because i was the one who sculpted the clay and put it together. and then i glazed it. and i saw it go through all the processes. so my recommendation to you: take ceramics class. no matter how much you think you don't need to take it or no matter how much you think you suck at pottery stuff. take it. it is worth it just to have that piece of your own.

i'm going to learn how to beatbox.

do you know how cool that would be?
having a conversation with some guys and then for some reason beatboxing comes up and i'm just all like "yeah i can beatbox" and then i show them up all.
duuuddeeee.
i'm going to do it.
tomorrow.
yes.
tomorrow i will learn how to beatbox.
up in my room.
so no one can hear me.

this is a weird life.

it is, isn't it?

we get so caught up in everything. seriously. who said that we have to go to school? there was no guide written for the humankind of what they had to do. this is just how we evolved. now it is our everything. but there is nothing that is forcing it to be our life. make sense?

so sometimes it sucks. and it's not even our fault. it's not like we wanted to be stuck in the math class with the hardest teacher in the school.

what if life was completely different? what if we didn't care what other people think? what if we didn't wait around for something to happen? what if we all said exactly how we feel? what if our life wasn't obsessed with school because we need to get a good job because we need to get money because we need to buy what we need because that's the way our society is.

whoa.

i want to do a community service project this year. why? because i don't have enough to do. that was sarcasm. but because my mother came up with the idea and i could verify it through 4h. you know what i bet the underlying reason is? it looks good on college application. it all goes back to getting a good education. right? but i was talking about this before with the Boys Hope Girls Hope. but they are too far away to really support them. so i want to find a good cause and do a bunch of stuff for them. well maybe not a bunch but at least a little. i need to watch more Extreme Home Makeover. i need ideas really. i need to find something that i am passionate about.

but our family is sponsoring a soldier. her name is Leslie Peterson. we are going to send her a letter every week and send her care packages. and be her angles. some soldiers have family back home and some don't. we don't know anything about her. we don't even expect her to write back. no matter who she is, what she has done, what she believes, what she looks like, or anything really, we are going to support her. i like that.

so. i'm going to keep on moving forward. i hope you do the same.

so that ain't working.

my brain that is. i can't focus on my story and it's day three. that's not good. i'm still supposed to be excited about it. maybe i rushed into this idea too quick. it was quick. i should have thought it through a bit more. but whatever. i'll finish though. i'm doing nothing this weekend so i can catch up then. but yeah today will be the first day that i'm behind. i'm supposed to be at 5,000 words but instead i'm at 3,604 and i have no motivation to write any more. so i won't.

i had more things to talk about but i'm too tired to. i think i am going to just go to sleep. or watch some youtube videos. youtube videos it is.

Mike Lombardo.

an hour ago i had no idea who this guy was.

now i have watched three videos of his.

one titled "Piano Don't Get Chicks" which made me smile. and i really like it. he wrote it and i watched him perform it live.
the next one was the live version of the song he wrote called "Hey Molly" which really made me smile.
now i am watching the non-live version of "Hey Molly" which is a geeky love song. it is so cute and fabulous. and it makes me smile a lot. ah such a wonderful geeky love song.

so i am not going to be going to bed soon because i am going to be watching the rest of his videos.

songs with the name "Molly" are so wonderful. more people should write them. it would be even more fabulous if they were about me specifically.

what went wrong?

sub in our chemistry class what went wrong in your life? I think you said your name was Mr. Anthony. but what went wrong? you graduated from HRHS in 2006 and had Mr. Cole as a chemistry teacher during those four years. then in 2010 you are subbing for your old chemistry teacher at the same school. so I am guessing you went to college for four years then you came back. you had an 106 in Mr. Cole's chemistry class. most people in his class are failing. so either he changed his class drastically or you were really smart. did you want to become a substitute teacher who gets paid to read Harry Potter while high schools take a test and tell them to quiet down? i wonder what went wrong. or maybe you wanted to do that. who knows.

and i'm doing NaNoWriMo. yes in the month of November I am going to write a 50,000 novel, do all my homework, take an AP class, have two riding lessons a week, participate in horse shows, and do whatever else i want to do. and people say their junior year is hard. i laugh at them.

i'm on track so far. i'm writing about Abby's life. but not really. i'm basing it off her right now but then everything is going to go wrong and then right and then horrible. but you know that is how life goes. at least for people in NaNo stories.

and all night skate is back on. did i ever tell you it was off? well it was but now it's back on. and our VP isn't allowed to go. but i am not going to get into all of that. i'm just glad that i can go now that i know i can stay up until 2 in the morning and then wake up at 5 and function for the rest of the day. wooooo!

i am thinking about going to bed soon. but look at me. i managed to do all my homework (granted i should of done more AP history work), write 1,676 words of a story, go to an academic society meeting, watch all my subscriptions on youtube, eat dinner, have some ice cream, and write a blog. i'm just amazing. or i just don't have a life. either or.