I just have to talk and tell you this even if you don't care or you think it's not your problem.

I've given you too much control over me. Over what I should wear, that I should get glasses. I know you do it to try to help me or they are just suggestions, but I do it because I want to please you and I want you think better of me. And then when I'm trying on all these clothes and I don't like them and don't feel good in them and I feel like shit and I'm trying to tell you this and you say who cares. Who cares? you don't care, just fucking want nudes. Who would care about you and your thoughts and feelings, Molly? you're not good enough. you're not smart enough, not stylish enough, not pretty enough. why have I given you the fucking power to make me feel this way, I don't need you, I don't want to need you, yet here I am needing your fucking validation. All I want is to be good enough for you.

And I know that is stupid because I should just be happy and confident with myself and not need anyone to make me feel like I'm good enough because I am enough just on my own. And you obviously like me already how I am.

I've literally been tearing myself up over this for an hour not able to sleep. and he just typed "Molly who cares" and then hasn't said another word and I just want him to say something and talk to me. And I hate how he affects me like this. I would do fucking anything for him. And that's scary and this is scary and what the fuck am I doing with my life.

I'm so sick and I was supposed to be asleep at 8 and now it's 10 and I have a whole day of work tomorrow. this fucking sucks.