only 20 more days until i'm not exhausted all the time. hopefully.

i'm so tired.
time to write a 6 page paper in spanish.
i really really really want to sleep. and stay asleep until high school is done. trying my hardest not to break down right now. i have to much to do.

i took a four hour nap today.
even though i slept for 10 hours last night.
i still feel exhausted.

tonight felt like summer.

resentment.
yay.

"i realize now. that when i say that we are, our own people living with eachother. 

it's you who is yourself, i am so dependant on you at this point that when i'm down, i can't do anything.
i need to work on being only alone, not lonely when i am alone.
when you aren't here or connected to me it makes me off, it makes me sad. 
i've realized today that i need you 
more than i think you need me."

hi abby, welcome to my last three days.

i just felt like writing a post because i don't want to do homework. i'll go do homework now. thanks.

i love hearing your voice. talking to you for a minute on the phone before the call failed made my day. i miss you so much.

it's so much harder being home when josh and i are apart than when i'm away and he's home. it's probably the same way for him. but last night was really hard for both of us on skype. it was harder than any other time i've gone away, for both of us. maybe because he felt bad about leaving, which usually he doesn't have to worry about since i'm the one leaving. but at least last night i was able to skype with him, even if we were both sad and in bad moods for part of it. tonight i can't hear him or see him. it sucks so much. sucks to suck.

for those of you who are reading this in the future:
Josh is so amazing. he is so perfect for me. for some reason, he practically worships the ground i walk on. prom was lovely for the two of us. and sleeping next to him that night was even better. i love waking up and having him right next to me. and he woke up at six am for me. even though he didn't have to. and he spent all day with me at a horse show. we got at the horse show at 7:30 and was there until 4:30 and he was at my house until 7:45ish and he came an cleaned a stall with me after the horse show. he is what i've always wanted, but never knew. you know all those days when i was just like...blah or thought that something was missing or was just sort of waiting around for better days...well now it's yay and Josh is the something that was missing and these are the better days.

or at least that's what i think now. future molly, feel free to correct me - actually, you can't correct me, because everything i just said is so extremely accurate to my life right now. there are no lies, there is nothing to correct. it's perfect. just like my boyfriend is.