what would it be like to have a crowd of people be screaming for you. at screaming at you, but for you. like we do now a days to singers. how come we feel the need to pay outrageous amounts of money to watch some people sing? and we feel the need to scream at them because we enjoy their music? screaming equals excitement apparently. but why do we only scream for celebrities and the such? we don't scream when we appreciate other people and their actions. we don't scream for our teachers or our mailmen or the computer tech guy. but we do scream for john and hank green, one of who is an author the other who is a super cool singers and both who are youtube guys.

i guess i'm saying one day it would nice to have a crowd of people screaming for me. but maybe in time that too shall pass.

i don't deserve any of this. i don't deserve my friends. i don't deserve my boyfriend. i don't deserve my family. i don't deserve that i've gotten into the 3 colleges i've heard from while other people have gotten rejection letters. i don't deserve anything.

what have i done? nothing. i'm just a lazy teenager good for nothing. sure i have the possibility or the potential to be good for something. instead i'm wasting space and air and a perfectly good body.

i read John Green's book "The Fault In Our Stars" in 4 hours minus breaks to text my boyfriend, talk to my family, let the dog out, and eat dinner. it made me feel useless and silly and stupid. but i loved it so much. i invested myself for four hours into that book. and i don't usually cry during books, but i almost did during that one.

i wouldn't be...josh broke my concentration so now i don't know what i was writing there so new idea.

or not. i don't want to get into depressing subjects. i'm in a weird tired mood tonight. alright. all done.

every time i see someone correct a spelling mistake on facebook, like someone comments on someone's status and uses the little * and corrects something they spelled wrong, I want to punch the commenter in the face. like seriously. they made a mistake. you don't have to point it out. if you know what it's supposed to be, then you can still understand what they were trying to say, so read it and move on. don't point out their flaws.

i admit, i used to be one of those people who felt the need to correct other people. but now it just frustrates me to no end. so i would like to say to everyone out there who uses the * to correct mistakes other than their own, shut the heck up. especially since you don't know if the person has trouble with spelling or writing of anything.

so yeah next time you feel the need to correct someone's spelling mistakes, DON'T, keep scrolling, and forget about it. and you'll see you have not missed out on anything in life. the only thing that is different is you are now less of a jerk. congrats, you're making the world a better place.

hi.
it's supposed to be 4 to 24 degrees out tomorrow. and i have a lesson. and i'm going to be riding a naught horse and I don't want to deal with her or the cold. i'm sick of Dolly misbehaving and me shutting down and freaking out over it and dreading going to the barn and the cold. the cold makes it ten times worse. right now i want to stop riding all together if it's just going to be freezing cold and my horse isn't going to behave. i hate it.

i also hate how i have a psych presentation tomorrow and i have 4 more pages to write in my Spanish journal. and i hate how my younger sister got a new iPhone while I still have the phone I've had for over a year. she had her old phone for less time for me and she got a new one because her old one broke. she gets rewarded for breaking her phone. Maura's getting my mom's old phone because she keeps losing her phones. what does Molly get to keeping her phone in tip top condition for over a year? oh right, her dad's old computer. yeah i said I wanted a new laptop so they gave me my dad's old one.

privileged white girl problems. aren't they awesome?

i'm just going to mope some more with my random sharp shooting stomach pains while skyping with my boyfriend who I'm sure loves seeing me like this. actually probably not, he's probably going to break up with me. cause who would want to date a loser like me?