so i found out today that the lead girl in taylor mathews's video is Rydel Lynch, who is Riker Lynch's sister. i am pretty sure i have mentioned riker in here with the whole glee stuff. he's awesome. and so the two of them plus their three other siblings created a band called R5, so now i'm watching all their music videos. i have seen some of them before i believe. but it's just so weird when two worlds collide. i wish i could be in the middle of all those worlds...if that makes sense. i also wish i was talented, like musically. or like an olympic athlete. either of those would be good. actually musically would be better. i don't think i could train as hard as an olympic athlete and give up so much.

now i'm going to go to sleep early today. toodleloos.

hi, i think i'm going to try to write in here a lot more. plus i'm waiting for josh to text me back before i go to sleep and i'm listening to meghan tonjes cover of skinny love, which i love.

the other day when josh and i went to the batman movie i was scared that i was going to get shot like at the shooting in Colorado. i'm too young to die. i have so much i need to do. i have such big ambitions. i have so many people to meet. i have so much more to experience. and i have more i need to do for this world. i need to make my mark. i have so much potential i haven't unlocked yet. i'm going to be great. and not to mention that i want to see this blog be published. i want to walk down the street and see someone sitting on a bench reading a book titled "some random words." i wonder what i would do in that case. would i say something to them? or just let them read it in peace? my first instinct is to say that i would keep walking so they could experience it themselves, but then what if they would love to meet me and if they found out i was right there and i kept walking instead of talking to them?

i talk like i know i'm going to be awesome. well i already am awesome. but i'm going to be even more awesome. i sound so cocky. i'm not actually, you guys probably already know that. if not then i'm not doing a good job writing this blog.

right now i'm really just tired and i should go to sleep. i'm kind of hungry too, but i'm not going to get any food now, that will have to wait until the morning.

i can't wait until i am actually doing something with my life. like when i'm in the best days of my life. but what if when i'm there, i keep thinking it's going to get better, and i keep waiting and wishing for something more? i guess like now. i am all exciting for the future and what is coming, but what if now is the best part of my life. i hope not. the future seems so much brighter. but does your future ever stop being bright? at what part of your life are you not excited for what is yet to come? is there a certain age you reach, a moment in your life? i hope not actually. i hope i am always excited for what is going to come, yet i don't forget to appreciate and enjoy what is happening now.

is it bad that i don't want to?

i should be sleeping now. half an hour ago i said "if i open up my laptop i won't go to sleep for another half an hour" and bingo, Molly knows herself so well.

but i just had a few thoughts for you. last night i had a dream that Travis Clark was my math teacher, and I didn't have any shoes on, and he was some how teaching us math with the beats and notes of Say You Like Me. i was the only one who knew who he was. i thought of Aria and Mr. Fitz from Pretty Little Liars. and i couldn't remember his last name. i could only think of Travis Wall from All the Right Moves, have i mentioned that show yet? there is so much on this blog that i don't talk about...

and once again i can't wait until i am in my element, doing something i love, surrounded by my amazing friends. you see We the Kings and how they are all happy. and now Taylor Mathews went and did his music video shoot today. and the Olympians and how amazing they are. i kind of wish when i was young i picked one thing and really really went for it so i could be in the Olympics. i could actually still go to the Olympics in equestrians, there is a 71 year old competing from Japan. but then i should probably be going to a different college than Babson. maybe i'll have a change of heart in four years from now and focus only on riding. but i'll need to get the money from somewhere = successful business. only problem is that business will take up all my time and i won't have enough time to be become an Olympic athlete.

all these problems you have when you become an amazing person who does thing with her life...in your head. seeing as i did absolutely nothing today. except watch the olympics and wish i was them. and then dive a few times in my grampa's pool and pretend i was in the olympics. and then watch some Meg Kelley videos and wish i was an amazing singer like her (by the way, i think she might actually be 18, i still can't believe that she could be 16), jk her youtube account says she is 16. how the heck is she so gorgeous and grown up at 16? all i was at 16 was awkward and barely decent enough to look at. wait...that's what i look like now too.

i need to sleep. maybe i'll dream about Travis Clark again.

Happy birthday, Esther.

this stupid quote of the day thing i installed on the side of my blog is always way too accurate, todays...

"A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other." – Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

i miss the feeling when you are first falling for someone. when you get all excited when you see them and you get the butterflies. and you want to wear your best outfits so you look your best. and you just want to talk to them. and you really really want them to like you back. and you second guess everything they do and everything you do too. you analyze their behavior. and you are just giddy and happy and excited all the time. i miss that.

but i have a lot to talk about now don't i? or i did, but i sort of forget a lot of it. like how i am disappointed that we lost our adsense account so now we don't make any money from our youtube videos. we only had it for a few weeks if that, we made a grand total of $11 i believe, yet they still took it away because of invalid ad clicks. we have no idea who clicked our ads too many times, we didn't tell anyone to. i think Maura might have, but she just wanted to give us more money, because it is exciting to see us getting money! so i feel bad for her, she must have a lot of guilt if she thinks she caused it. i don't know if she actually does or not. but it is disappointing, because it gave us an incentive to keep making videos and it was like we got some kind of response. we don't have a lot of people commenting or people wanting us to make videos like previous youtube stars had to encourage them to keep going. so the money was our encouragement. Maeve hasn't made a video since. I had been working on one, and I've done a little bit on it, but i haven't finished it yet...so it is sad.

what else. i feel like i had a more uplifting subject to talk about, but i can't remember now. shucks.

okay so while i was trying to think of things to say i went on tumblr and i saw that someone had asked Vondell Swain what he thought of the Mike Lombardo thing to which he simply said, he shouldn't have done that. so of course i have to go find out what they are talking about...and Mike Lombardo was caught receiving and asking for child pornography from girls as young as 14. and it wasn't just one girl, but multiple. he had videos on his phone. and i just found someone on tumblr who said she was a victim of his when she was 18, and she's 21 now...how long has he done this?
i've just read a bunch of people's reactions that i'm not even sure what i think.
goodness. i loved his songs. especially Hey Molly...now i'm afraid it's going to come on shuffle. i sort of want to go watch his videos now, but i don't dare. i don't want to see the comments. i've read so much about it already. i'm just sort of shocked. i'm sure i mentioned him in previous posts.

but isn't that what makes this blog amazing? it's like a little account of history from one girl's point of view. it has gaps and it's not entirely accurate. i just tell you what i know and think about and what i find important.

like how it's pretty awesome that Gabby Douglas won the women's overall gymnastics at the olympics, and how i am very sad that Aly Raisman tied for third but didn't end up getting it because of some weird dropping the lowest score.

so i think i am going to keep this blog going. as long as i can. and by the way i'm sick of people asking when i'm going to college. i'll go when i go.

OHHH I remember what i was supposed to talk about. Nicole! ahh but it's late now and i was going to go to sleep plus i don't want that in the same post as all of the yucky stuff...

i just had the thought, when i was looking for an old post mentioning Mike Lombardo, what if instead of Mike Lombardo it was Taylor Mathews. i would be so so so devastated. i look up to him so much. he's amazing. and if i found out he wasn't who i thought he was? horrible. that must be how some girls are feeling now about Mike Lombardo.

November 1st 2010 was when i first listened to his music and watched his videos. wow. just wow.

but let's end this on a happy note. i saw that my last post was about how i might watch the olympics this year...oh i've been watching them. <3 -thumbs="-thumbs" expert="expert" house.="house." i="i" in="in" live="live" m="m" olympic="olympic" p="p" stream.="stream." the="the" up-="up-">
and hi! i just want to say hi to my readers, i haven't forgotten about you. so now you should say hi to me! it's only polite...(: