I have no posted here in a while. let me see what the last thing I posted was. I feel like I start a lot of posts like this.

ah fuck you're missing a lot.

yeah, yeah, I've had sex with James, not that big of a deal. we're still together. he's great. I spend a lot of time with him.

I'm still in Ireland. I have a job and am working at a carpet cleaning company doing marketing for them but he is also a manager for an artist so I help with that too.

But I just got off the phone with my dad. And I realize/he confirmed what I was thinking about didn't want to believe - that I have to start putting a lot more into my job. Like I am just sort of there but since I don't like it, I'm not really trying. I have to start trying and actually do shit even if I don't really like it. I want to make myself the best employee at that company. That's what my dad said he did, so maybe I'll try that. It is so hard to motivate myself though when it is so boring. But I'll give it my best effort tomorrow. Like one day of actually trying to work the full day without wasting time and bullshitting.

And then I also have to find time to work on myself and what I want to do. Like today I took the time to revise my resume. But now I am considering waking up earlier in the morning so I can do the Darren Hardy thing where I work on myself and learn. And then I am going to have to go to more concerts and start networking and learning things.

Ah so much and I don't know what I'm doing. But I am living on my own now - well in a house with three other people. And a lot has happened that I haven't told you about. But I'm still surviving.

Okay so my game plan is I am going to wake up at 7 tomorrow, which is 45 minutes earlier than I have to. I'm going to try to do the Darren Hardy thing my dad paid a lot of money for, for his company, but he gave me access too.

And next week I'm going to start looking into what concerts are going on so I can start going to more of those even if they are during the week so I can see the scene and all.

But now I'm just tired and it's not even 10 and I'm going to get ready to go to bed. Awesome.